Am still shocked at the fact that I had to fly 80,000 miles to this foreign land to be able to meet you, when in fact we stayed <80,000 centimetres apart. It was so unbelievable how fast we clicked, and how similar we were (or I thought we were).
I had been slow to act for the most part, but you persisted and forced me to react to the situations, instead of acting upon them. I was smitten and wanted to make things work, but was to shy and was held back by other non-existent worries, almost letting you slip through my fingers. In the end, come what may, we made it through the countless ordeals, emerging stronger than ever.
We were constantly trialed by interference, group dynamic issues, time differences and distance. What came unexpected was that the deeper these problems tried to bury us, the tighter we grew. Trying to beat the time difference was tough, especially on your end, and I was faced with this emotional struggle each night. A part of me wants to talk to you all night while the other part wanted you to have ample rest. I did not want you torturing your body like that (as though the sands of time weren’t cruel enough). However, you made it all worth it with your adorable smile and laughter, albeit having your eyes semi-closed and our conversations punctuated with incessant yawns. Time difference was a bitch and we gave it a bitchslap right in its greenwich meridian face.
The last 27 days especially was a torture. The clock ticked away at an excruciating pace, as I watched the second hand tick towards our reconciliation. You had me scrambling for my phone to check the at countdown timer whenever I had the chance to. The anticipation in me grew in tandem with the amount of guilt I manifested. I realized I could’ve been home earlier, to be meeting your friends, your family, attending one of your most important day in your life, and to be part of your life. However, I acted like a selfish scumbag and left you alone back in Singapore while I was having fun in the States for the remaining 2 weeks. Just so you know, it wasn’t enjoyable at all; it was as tormenting for me. Truth be told, I did not enjoy the rest of the trip that much. You reprimanded me and demanded certain things from me that I could’ve easily done, but wasn’t able to pick up the courage to. Night in night out I could only apologize and I am thankful towards you for being so magnanimous in accepting my worthless apologies. I really appreciate and am sorry for everything you have undergone for me. I let you down in many ways, and you were right in being disappointed in me. Now that I am back, I assure you I’ll make you as happy as you are making me, and I’ve never been happier.
I was already blinded by then, and all I that clouded my mind was to seek availability of wifi, and everyday I was looking forward to heading home at night just so I could talk to you. I cheered when our plans screwed up and we had to stay in the hotel, and dreaded the moment we had to leave. Then I had an epiphany that since I was already on this trip, I might as well enjoy it to the fullest I could. I might as well have gone back to Singapore to accompany you if that was the case. I then made a point to enjoy every sight and sound, and register them as stories I could tell you when I was back. You had wanted me to enjoy myself too, and I tried to make myself feel like you were by my side. I tried to make you feel like you were by my side too, by sending you pictures of the West Coast, and also by pressing pennies for you to keep.
Back home, your friends sat down and talked to you about the other side of our relationship. Many reasons were brought up, reasons stating why this relationship might be an impeding train wreck. We talked things through, made lots and lots of disclaimers and formalization of stuff. We tackled these issues and compromised to each other’s situations. We will do all we can to make this work, and show the haters who they’re messing with.
After I touched down in TW after 3 dreadfully long weeks, I felt like a complete asshole. I could’ve been home, it would’ve just took another 4 hours on a connecting flight. PQ had already went home, Raymond had already reached home, Ewe and Mel were already home. All of you guys were ready to settle down into the new semester/new chapter in life, while I was still out attempting to have fun on this trip, misprioritizing many of my other more important stuffs. I tried to make it up to you by semi-insisting for the 3 of us to stay in the hotel room for >half the day just so I could spend countless hours talking to you across this GMT+8 timezone (at long last). And then the same emotional struggles hit me again. If I were to waste my time away in a hotel room in TW, I would’ve rather gone back to Singapore instead of spending unnecessary time and money here. I could’ve been by your side, stroking your head and spending many more happier nights with you. On the other hand, I really wanted to talk to you and did not enjoy the lack of wifi in this country other than in our hotel room. We talked for almost the entire day, and it was then I realized I had already grown on you, and you’ve already gotten under my skin. I wanted to spend every waking moment with you, and I was terribly apologetic for how long I’ve been making you wait. I thought to myself, “Just a few days more..”
If anything, these obstacles only made us stronger. It may have had made us more dependent on each other, but on the other hand, it also showed us how much we longed and missed each other’s company.
On the day I was slated to head back home, excitement hit me like a huge wave. I was all ecstatic and high, I wanted to go back to Singapore as soon as I could, so badly. However what I did not realize was that this growing level of excitement and the speed of time moving shared an inverse relationship. Time crawled like a snail on anti-depressant drugs, and every second seemed to tick away at a halved speed. Unable to contain myself, I started showing signs of frustration at the most minuscule things. I then boarded the plane with so many thoughts in my head, so much I wanted to tell you, and so much love I wanted to give. Plane then took off, and I went to sleep immediately, placing a temporary veil over my state of euphoria. I figured that once I woke up, I would be by your side soon already.
Touched down in Changi, and I wanted to exit to the arrival halls as fast as I could. Grabbed bottles of beer from DFS, swooped at my luggages like an eagle from the conveyors, and pushed my trolley out into familiar air, the air we were both meant to share.
And there you were. Looking all smiley and full of anticipation. I tried playing it cool, hiding what felt like a deer in rollerblades knocking over everything inside of me. Our eyes met; it all felt so familiar, felt so natural. You belonged in my arms, and your fingers weaved seamlessly into mine. The flurry of emotions stirring in me at that point of time made me realize something. You filled up that void in me that I had experienced for a couple of weeks now, and then I knew, I had already loved you.
We conquered these tough times. We gave middle fingers to our haters. We bitchslapped time and distance and any other possible dimensions in the space-time continuum. We made it through everything. I hope I made you happy in the process, cus it did for me: I have never been any happier.
And as I said, those weren’t the only roller coasters I rode back in the States. It may not have been an easy ride for the both of us, and we nailed it.
(refer to New Year’s resolution: Nail the US trip)
I want this to last;
I love you.
could we be ANY happier?
Just came back from my USA trip. Well not really a trip, spent >half of my time working on a theme park with unearthly hours.
And those weren’t the only roller coasters I was riding back then.
Went on this trip with a heavy heart, with unsettled business. Felt so alone, had no avenue to destress. Each time I felt down I lighted up, and each time, a part of me burned up as well. I was all alone in this foreign land with no one to share my troubles. Horrible, horrible feelings.
And then I met you.
At first, I thought you looked kind of familiar. Maybe I’ve seen you before in the Mirror of Erised, or maybe it was the effects of Amortentia. Being around you made me feel like I had just downed a whole Draught of Peace. Anyhoo, seeing you made me feel like a mini expulso just happened in my heart.
You gave me a little wingardium levi-OOO-sa, and I rose like Fawkes from the ashes. You raised your deluminator to put out my troubles, and acted like my own Hand of Glory and gave me light. I needed no Marauder’s Map to seek you out, nor a Probity Probe to detect any concealments of any kind.
However we had our own saga of sorts, and am glad that I always had the invisibility cloak or sneakoscope handy for any sticky situations. The sneakoscope especially, lighted up and started spinning whenever she came by. Her little bag of tricks made me suspect she had an undetectable extension charm in her mokeskin pouch.
I am curious whether I can double the time spent with you using the geminio charm. I hope I have mastered alohomora so that I can open the door to your heart, or then again, I can keep trying and trying since the time-turner is in my possession.
Oh wait, my remembrall is turning red.
Right, I love you.
"I’m not fascinated by people who smile all the time. What I find interesting is the way people look when they are lost in thought, when their face becomes angry or serious, when they bite their lip, the way they glance, the way they look down when they walk, when they are alone and smoking a cigarette, when they smirk, the way they half smile, the way they try and hold back tears, the way their face says they want to say something but can’t, the way they look at someone they want or love… I love the way people look when they do these things. It’s…beautiful."
Unknown (via lijdeninstilte)
Learn to let go. I’m not saying that it will be easy. Neither am I saying that it will be quick. It will take you a while. Initially, it will hurt. It might extend over a period of time. But sometimes you have to learn how to let go in order to take hold of the things that truly matter.
My Incase Terra Sleeve is finally here! Looks pretty damn neat, and tough (real denim yo).
On a side note, my Apple Magic Mouse is here too! Still getting used to it, and MagicPrefs is just awesome seriously.
I know I can’t take one more step towards you,
cause all that’s waiting is regret.
look back and scoff
Old is gold, new is better
Today I went on an unplanned trip up to Malaysia on my own. Encountered lots of shit and problems before I decided to take a coach up to Malacca.
Have been here a couple of times, so I’m still rather familiar. However this time I chose to walk down the alleys and paths less taken, and the sights are often rewarding. My photographs do no justice to the peace and calmness in the slow-paced city.
It’s also the first time I’m travelling alone, albeit just a one-day trip, but I found they joy in doing so. Doing what I want to do, seeing what I want to see. Even met a backpacker from Germany, who was also travelling South East Asia alone. Inspiring story behind his trip, but doubt anyone would be interested.
Uploading my pictures soon, and hope this would be the first of many solitary trips to come.
statusquochaos said: Your photos are really, really stunning! I particularly love the one of the plants in the car with a girl taking a photo in the background. Such an interesting shot, with such cool composition!
Thanks! Checked out your photos, they too are stunning!
And the girl in the background is Melissa! Check out her photos too she’s great
and love your latest photos from tw (right?) :D see you when school reopens!
Yeah TW! See you soon too!
Haha hey thanks, this photo took some time cus he kept looking away. Glad it turned out great in the end!
Withdrawal coming on strongly. Dependency coming on naturally.
Hit me back to reality.